1st installment

s i l h o u e t t e nakedness

Back in 2003, I met this boy in one corner of the room; he seemed a little bit shy and reserved. I came near him and open a conversation; I found out that the boy and I had something in common. Days had passed we never realized that we will become very close to each other. We go home together everyday, we practice our lessons every other day until the boy and I had found the comfort in each other’s presence.

Months had passed and our closeness grew stronger and deeper, naturally it may seem, we became sweet to one another as many people, as in many people would notice that deep in our eyes we knew that we have something special for one another. Some people would unselfishly comment that we compliment each other and we are look a-likes. Some would brutally announce that I and that boy were officially on.

Funny it my sound, of course we will both smile and deny everything. Consciously it means nothing but subconsciously it has a big impact for the both of us. As a defense mechanism to other people’s accusations about our alleged secret relationship the boy invented the phrases: “wag mo kasing lagyan ng kulay”. As agreed upon it became his rule. As to lessen everyone’s attention on “us” being a couple, when we deny everything it sounded like a rehearsed line.

First, we will smile and then we say “di kaya!” that’s it, end of the accusations. Well people perceived what we were trying to convey. I can’t blame them because as far as they concern about the accusations here are just a few things when I was with that boy and that boy is with me:

1. We tease each other. I call it Harutan Galore at Kagaspangan Portion
2. We will stand by at the corridor to talk and let the time flies
3. We will eat together
4. We will practice together
5. We will go home together
6. We will walk together

We lay down on the wall and discussed each other’s dreams under the starry night We did all the crazy things together

- One day we went to our favorite hang-out, we crossed the high way together. That was soooooo damn adrenalin rush

- we walked together from our place to the mall instead of riding a jeepney

- we make fool of a gay sales person in divisoria because he liked the boy I am with Well no one is to blamed, that’s “us”. Those are the usual things that the boy and I were doing.

As to complicate things and make ourselves believe that those are just nothing. We were both committed, so it be easier for the both of us to deny our own actions. But the thing is, we were 24/7 together before.

Before, I wanted to believe that there’s nothing going on between me and that boy not until these happened:

1. It was one day that I asked him to accompany me in getting my grade card; he told me it was okay so we agreed. I was soooo shocked when his girl friend called and I over heard him saying alibi to his own girl friend. He lied to his gf about his whereabouts. How could he do that? He did that just for my sake? I could understand everything if he said that di pumayag gf niya
2. Friends usually have misunderstanding. It’s a common, a simple sorry would be enough. I was so freaked out when we fought. He looked for me in our tambayan while having merienda with the other guys; he knelt in front of me just to ask for an apology. What the hell is that??! Is it necessary? No!
3. We had another fight, I walked out. I angrily left him in our studio. When I was already in the jeepney stop I saw him running and catching his breath. He uttered the words “I’m sorry, hinabol pa kita para lang sabay tayong umuwi” Wow!! I was soo amazed
4. The confirmation of all denials. We went to a park with some other friends; some are telling stories while others are bonding, while the two of us had our own world. He would lie down on my lap and began to play with me. As a finale, the group went to Baywalk, he and I were so close, as in literally close. He would wrap my arms around him and his face is just an inch away from my face. That time I was off guarded. I can’t deny the fact, I liked every seconds of it

After everything I tried to convince myself that nothing is going on between him and me. So for me, the easiest way and the hardest way to convince myself was to follow his rule “wag mong lagyan ng kulay” Well it worked for me for quite sometime. We started calling each other terms of endearment. Jealousy from others started to surface but because we knew each other very well we end up always in “I’m sorry-make up situation”. We share a lot of things in common. He was my exact opposite and I was his exact resemblance

There’s this one time that I was confused and I hated that moment. We share memories for quite a time. Siya ang nagging mundo ko literal! All the boyfriend material memories were all about him. I was scared. The feeling grew deeper and stronger when I found out that his own gf got jealous of me. It was a big deal because my principle was how could your gf get jealous of me eh wala naman namamagitan sa amin. It only means that mas maraming oras ang nagugugol sa akin kaysa sa kanya. I hate it because that time wala akong laban.

That time I was conviced that maybe he had feelings for me buit because the situation is complicated he kept quiet I dare to ask him but I was caught off guard, there’s this one situation when he asked me through a text message:

“wala naman akong karapatang magalit sa’yo dib a?, ano mo ba ako?”

I was so stupid to answer him back:

“Uhm, meron kang karapatang magalit kasi magka-dance group tayo at friends tayo?”

You can’t blame me, I don’t want to lose him because that time I already put colors into our world. When I’m with him all I could see is his face and our world. I just protected ourselves that’s why I lied. You asked me stupid question so what do you expect?

As of this moment, I know, the story is familiar because that was our story back in years. I’m telling you this because I don’t want to have regrets of not telling you that I liked you nor I loved you before Nuong time na tinanong mo ko kung ano ba kita, I want to tell you that you’re my world, na sana akin ka na lang pero hindi ko ginawa yun dahil ayaw ko masira relationship mo sa gf mo dati, kay Rachel.

For the record, nilayuan kita, as in nagpakalayo-layo ako, nagpunta ako ng Baguio para makalimutan kita. Maybe you’ll ask, “why now? My answer would be because I was convinced that you loved me before pero gusto ko lang malaman mo na hindi ako manhid para maramdaman yun.

Well it’s all in the past now, gusto ko lang maging fair sa’yo. Gusto ko lang malaman mo na lahat ng mga efforts mo ay worth for all the memories. It was so amazing knowing a person like you. Thanks for reading our story, thanks for your time, it means a lot to me.

P.S. Don’t hate me please?

Keep Bleeding... Nose Bleed

Nose Bleed

It was jazz an ordinary day. the skies were clear, the birds were chipping. Ang ganda-ganda ng araw! Nasa SM ako noon at katatapos ko lang mamili ng groceries. Timing naman nasa foodcore si Angel Locsin, nagpro-provoke ng movie nya. Grabe, andaming fans, pull-packed talaga! Dahil fans nya rin ako, nakipila rin ako.

Then suddenly, out of the loo, may bumulong sa akin ng: "Cholengggggggggg. ......" Huh? It sounded like a familiar sound. Who can it be now? "Dodong!" sigaw ko. Napalakas yata voice ko. Kasi the other fans turned their backs to their behind at napatingin sa amin. Sabi ko "Sorry, I didn't mean to be loud and proud." Hinawakan na lang ni Dodong ang kamay ko at lumayo kami from the crowd. "Kamusta na Choleng? Do you come here open? tanong nya. "Bihira lang, Dodong. I'm just droppings by. Ethnic and schedule ko eh" sabi ko.


Memories came flushing in my mind. How can I forget to remember Dodong? Siya na may mata ni Piolo, dimple ni Aga, at bigote ni Rex Cortez. he's every woman's dreamboat. I was just starting my tour of duty kay ate noon nang unang makilala ko si Dodong. Contraction worker siya sa ginagawang bahay sa tapat namin.


Naging kami for a while then after that were not an item anymore. "Tanghali na Choleng. What did you say we have lunch together?" tanong ni Dodong. "I don't mine" sagot ko. Sa restaurant, nilapitan kaagad kami ng waiter. "What's your odor sir?" sabi nung waiter kay Dodong. "Do you have porkshop?" tanong ni Dodong. "Yes sir" sabi nito. "Our porkshop with a resistance to the teeth of boast of our chef. Domestic careful selection of pork with little fat of female liking is used. The exquisite cooking which repeated trial and error and was completed. it also has healthy vegetables with salad feeling fully" dagdag niya. "And you mam?" sabay tingin naman sa akin. Hmmm... mukhang masarap yung porkshop.

Pero I'm cutting down on my carbon kaya pinigilan ko. "I'll just have water, thanks. Liquidate diet ako eh." sagot ko. Pagkatapos kumain, nagyaya si Dodong manood ng sine. Teka teka, this is going too far. Besides, it's a long, long way to run. "Reality chess, Dodong. May asawa na ako, si Jay. As a mother of fact, I'm happily married" pagmamalaki ko. "Di na pwede yung tulad ng dati.


Sorry pero I didn't expect you still have more feelings than I expected. i don't want you getting the way. Past is fast. Therefore, cause and defect." dagdag ko pa. Tumahimik sya. Parang may language barrel na namagitan sa amin. The seconds that passed seemed like fraternity. Di nagla-on, nagsalita na rin sya. "I don't care less!" sigaw ni Dodong. Shocks, give me a brake! The nerd ng taong ito para sigawan ako! To think it's his other woman that caused our separation to part. Kinabahan na ako. I felt speedbumps all over my body and was having panic attach. Tinalikuran ko siya at nagmadali akong lumakad palayo. Pero sumunod pa rin siya like a monkey on my butt. Hanggang sa makakita ako ng security guard. Biglang nawala si Dodong.



"Excuse me kuya, pwedeng magtanong?" sabi ko sa mamang guard. "Of course miss, I can help you with my pleasure." sagot niya. "Saan po ba ang exit? Could you point me to the right erection? I got lost in my eyes." "Diretso lang." sabi niya. "Then turn right anytime with care." "Thanks for your corporation" sabi ko. Buti na lang nandun si kuya. Pero saglit lang, I smell something peachy. As I turned, nakita ko na namang nakasunod si Dodong! Delaying static lang pala kanina ang pag disappear nya. "Nyahahaha! You can run but you can hide, Choleng. No matter where you go, there you are!" pananakot nya. Oh no, is this the end? This is too much, I feel degradable.


My world started falling afar. Then suddenly, Jay come from behind! Dodong was caught to the act! In the matter of minute, it's all over. I'm out of arm's way. "Thanks Jay, my love. But how did you?" bago pa man ako matapos, sabi niya: "I was in the neighborhood. Fans din ako ni Angel eh. I heard you shout but at first I didn't give it a thought. Pero nang makita ko kayong magkahawak ng holding hands, then i give it a thought. I know something is a missed."


From then on, Dodong did not brother me again. In fact, he didn't even sister me. As in platonic at wala na talaga. Pero kami ni Jay, heto, shoot sailing pa rin ang relationship. Lalo pa ngayon, open na kami sa isa't-isa at walang exhibitions. i feel I'm on cloud...

One Day I decided to Quit…

One year…
365 days…
52 weeks…
1 passion…

It was last October 1st when I had to make a very difficult decision. It involves a lot of aspects in my life. I was caught in the middle of a cross road. I have to decide which path to take: my passion or a career.

I only had 24 hours in my hand. I heard about the “bad” news last 29th of September, there I was on my own feet. I knew there will be consequences in my decisions but I have to be firm. I had to take a little consideration of everything. Honestly, it broke me into pieces. I can’t even sleep at night worrying about the future. Which path will I take? Which passion will I pursue? Which name will have to live?

Then I pause.
Then I think
Then I dream

I closed my eyes. I heard my heart was pounding really, really hard. I’m not nervous nor I’m not excited. I AM SCARED.

The clock was ticking. I don’t know what to do. I only had 24 hours to decipher what I really want subconsciously. I AM A TIME BOMB.

Then I broke the silence. One day I decided to quit.

I decided to quit not because life is full of shit, no, I decided to quit because I know I deserve better.
I decided to quit because I know there are a lot of opportunities out there
I decided to quit because I know it will be for the best.

As the old man’s saying “you can’t have everything!” that’s why I decided to let go of that another great opportunity because this time I’ll have the BEST OPPORTUNITY in the whole world that money can’t buy…. LEARNING







Gist:
I was caught to choose between a high paying job with great benefits and a low paying job but with a great learning experience.

if you were in my position, what will you do?

xoxo

The Meaning Behind the Name

Have you ever wonder what's the meaning of your name?
Well, I do believe that we are the reflection of our own name. That's why some people get mad especially when their names are misspelled. Because it’s not them.

I made a research on the meanings of my name. I guess, I am living up on my own name. Hahahah!!! (Ayan means “Bright”). Well… what can I say? Ű

Originally, I was named after the late famous Princess of Wales. My mom used to call me Ayan (the Filipino spelling of my original name).

So here are the meanings of my name. Enjoy!

Please let me know if you agree on this.

1. AYAN: Somali female name meaning "bright."

2. 'Ayan' also means Shepherd

3. The path through which the sun travels in the daytime is called 'Ayan'

4. 'Ayan' is also a form of African drumming.

5. 'Ayan' in Turkish, means "obviously" or "clearly"

6. In Somalia 'Ayan' means "the lucky one". However, in Somali, 'Ayan' is the female form of the name, and 'Ayanle' is the male form.

7. Narayan - the Sanskrit word, is explained as Nara + Ayan = Narayan. ie.,Nara meaning human being and Ayan meaning the mirror. In essence it is the reflection of self - the soul.

8. Sirr & Rooh form “Rooh-e-Insani (Human soul) or Ayan. This part of the soul is inscribed with commands characterizing the life. It is also termed as Ayan. When a human being gets acquainted with it, he can witness the record & scheme of “all that exists”, written on loh-e-mahfooz.

9. In Tamil: 'Ayan' is the name of Brahma, the Creator.

10. 'Ayan' [Urdu/Persian.] with the last 'n' not pronounced fully... but half i.e. nasal tone sound..)... means something that is open and clear /something like : "something vividly clear on the face of it" or prima-facie.




And some meanings of the name Ayan:
1. Hindu/Tamil: Brahma, the God of Creation
2. Sanskrit: Soaked in the Divine (as in Satyanarayan)3. Biblical: Motion, To Arrive (related to Noah);
Iian, which is pronounced like Ayan, is the Scottish variation of John
4. Hebrew: Nothingness, Peace
5. Persian: Notable6. Islam/Arabic: God’s Gift7. Several African Languages: Center Part of the Soul.








Sources: http://www.sarbadhikari.com/ayan/ayanmng.htm
http://www.mybaby-name.com/baby-name-full-detail/ayan/51/1

1st installment

s i l h o u e t t e nakedness

1. Back in 2003, I met this boy in one corner of the room; he seemed a little bit shy and reserved. I came near him and open a conversation; I found out that the boy and I had something in common.
   
   Days had passed we never realized that we will become very close to each other. We go home together everyday, we practice our lessons every other day until the boy and I had found the comfort in each other’s presence.
   
   Months had passed and our closeness grew stronger and deeper, naturally it may seem, we became sweet to one another as many people, as in many people would notice that deep in our eyes we knew that we have something special for one another. Some people would unselfishly comment that we compliment each other and we are look a-likes. Some would brutally announce that I and that boy were officially on.
   
   Funny it my sound, of course we will both smile and deny everything. Consciously it means nothing but subconsciously it has a big impact for the both of us.
   
   As a defense mechanism to other people’s accusations about our alleged secret relationship the boy invented the phrases: “wag mo kasing lagyan ng kulay”. As agreed upon it became his rule. As to lessen everyone’s attention on “us” being a couple, when we deny everything it sounded like a rehearsed line. First, we will smile and then we say “di kaya!” that’s it, end of the accusations.
   
   Well people perceived what we were trying to convey. I can’t blame them because as far as they concern about the accusations here are just a few things when I was with that boy and that boy is with me:
   
   We tease each other. I call it Harutan Galore at Kagaspangan Portion
   We will stand by at the corridor to talk and let the time flies
   We will eat together
   We will practice together
   We will go home together
   We will walk together
   We lay down on the wall and discussed each other’s dreams under the starry night
   We did all the crazy things together
   - One day we went to our favorite hang-out, we crossed the high way together. That was soooooo damn adrenalin rush
   - we walked together from our place to the mall instead of riding a jeepney
   - we make fool of a gay sales person in divisoria because he liked the boy I am with
   
   
   Well no one is to blamed, that’s “us”. Those are the usual things that the boy and I were doing. As to complicate things and make ourselves believe that those are just nothing. We were both committed, so it be easier for the both of us to deny our own actions. But the thing is, we were 24/7 together before.
   
   Before, I wanted to believe that there’s nothing going on between me and that boy not until these happened:
   
   1. It was one day that I asked him to accompany me in getting my grade card; he told me it was okay so we agreed. I was soooo shocked when his girl friend called and I over heard him saying alibi to his own girl friend. He lied to his gf about his whereabouts. How could he do that? He did that just for my sake? I could understand everything if he said that di pumayag gf niya
2. Friends usually have misunderstanding. It’s a common, a simple sorry would be enough. I was so freaked out when we fought. He looked for me in our tambayan while having merienda with the other guys; he knelt in front of me just to ask for an apology. What the hell is that??! Is it necessary? No!
3. We had another fight, I walked out. I angrily left him in our studio. When I was already in the jeepney stop I saw him running and catching his breath. He uttered the words “I’m sorry, hinabol pa kita para lang sabay tayong umuwi” Wow!! I was soo amazed
4. The confirmation of all denials. We went to a park with some other friends; some are telling stories while others are bonding, while the two of us had our own world. He would lie down on my lap and began to play with me. As a finale, the group went to Baywalk, he and I were so close, as in literally close. He would wrap my arms around him and his face is just an inch away from my face. That time I was off guarded. I can’t deny the fact, I liked every seconds of it
   
   After everything I tried to convince myself that nothing is going on between him and me. So for me, the easiest way and the hardest way to convince myself was to follow his rule “wag mong lagyan ng kulay”
   
   Well it worked for me for quite sometime. We started calling each other terms of endearment. Jealousy from others started to surface but because we knew each other very well we end up always in “I’m sorry-make up situation”. We share a lot of things in common. He was my exact opposite and I was his exact resemblance
   
   There’s this one time that I was confused and I hated that moment. We share memories for quite a time. Siya ang nagging mundo ko literal! All the boyfriend material memories were all about him. I was scared. The feeling grew deeper and stronger when I found out that his own gf got jealous of me. It was a big deal because my principle was how could your gf get jealous of me eh wala naman namamagitan sa amin. It only means that mas maraming oras ang nagugugol sa akin kaysa sa kanya. I hate it because that time wala akong laban.
   
   That time I was conviced that maybe he had feelings for me buit because the situation is complicated he kept quiet
   I dare to ask him but I was caught off guard, there’s this one situation when he asked me through a text message:
   
   “wala naman akong karapatang magalit sa’yo dib a?, ano mo ba ako?”
   
   I was so stupid to answer him back:
   
   “Uhm, meron kang karapatang magalit kasi magka-dance troupe tayo at friends tayo?”
   
   You can’t blame me, I don’t want to lose him because that time I already put colors into our world. When I’m with him all I could see is his face and our world. I just protected ourselves that’s why I lied. You asked me stupid question so what do you expect?
   
   As of this moment, I know, the story is familiar because that was our story back in years. I’m telling you this because I don’t want to have regrets of not telling you that I liked you nor I loved you before
   
   Nuong time na tinanong mo ko kung ano ba kita, I want to tell you that you’re my world, n asana akin ka na lang pero hindi ko ginawa yun dahil ayaw ko masira relationship mo sa gf mo dati, kay Rachel.
   
   For the record, nilayuan kita, as in nagpakalayo-layo ako, nagpunta ako ng Baguio para makalimutan kita. Maybe you’ll ask, “why now? My answer would be because I was convinced that you loved me before pero gusto ko lang malaman mo na hindi ako manhid para maramdaman yun
   
   Well it’s all in the past now, gusto ko lang maging fair sa’yo. Gusto ko lang malaman mo na lahat ng mga efforts mo ay worth for all the memories. It was so amazing knowing a person like you. Thanks for reading our story, thanks for your time, it means a lot to me.
   
   P.S. Don’t hate me please?
   
   

Advice from Oprah About Men

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behaviour.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends".
A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behaviour. Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even if he has more education or in a better job.
Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending... compromise is two way street.
You need time to heal between relationships. ..

"ADVICE FROM OPRAH ABOUT MEN"

Honest confessions and realizations of Bonnie '04

I never loved a guy the way i loved Clyde. The way you loved Charise. Oh dear what's wrong with us? we've been into several relationships but all of it failed. I don't know. Some ALMOST worked out but it didn't push through. There are goals and plans that are already set for you and Charise, and for Clyde and Bonnie, but execution wise... zero! some of it didn't happen.The saddest part there is that, I was hurt by him and you were hurt by her.

I've been into several relationships,I made them believe that I truly love them but in reality, I didn't. I am doing that for my own benefit. Hatid - sundo, Panakip Butas lang ng sakit na nararamdaman.. It hurts me though, because every time I want a break up, they find it hard to move on. That's how bad i was.

Reality bites. Things were bouncing back right into my face! Somebody whom i really liked now,who happens to liked me too, had experienced the same shit as what i had experienced.

This guy, made me believe that he truly loves me. That he loved me so dearly, but the truth is, he can't still let go of his past.. He can't let go of CHA. How did i know that? simple, it shows. It shows through his actions and gestures. THAT'S HOW STUPID I AM WHEN IT COMES TO LOVE.. It is really tiring and exhausting and yet it is so fun and exciting! weird huh? But that's how it goes.

I assume that my present situation right now will probably last for a year or couple of years more, but still the pain that was kept into our hearts will stay there and be buried for the rest of our lives. Sad it may seem, but that's the truth. Both of us find the comfort and love in each other's arm but that is only temporary. Because both of us still hope that someday in the outer universe we will still end up with the person who hurt us the most, that was Cha and Clyde. Both of us loved them in the deepest part of our empty souls.

I am not a psychic nor a love doctor, i just know it, because i can feel it. It really shows. It is so vivid, but then again, if i already know this. then, WHAT AM I DOING HERE? WHY AM I STAYING? i am staying because until now, although several times i've been hurt, i still believe in the magical power of love. This is reality, although i am hurt i still gave chance for myself and for the person i will share the rest of my life until Clyde nor cha is nowhere to find.

(MegaMall101304)

TWISTED Love affair

I just don't get it still, there are several common things that keep us together, i don't know, minsan di ko na iniisip but the fact is, nagsusumiksik sila minsan.

sa radio network nagwowork si Macho at si juanita, si juanita schoolmate ko sa Rizal, si macho at si juanita magkaibigan, di kami close dati ni juanita.

si macho, adik sa Up Dharma, si Ean mayor drummer ng Updharma, si Ean schoolmate ko sa Marya, Close ni Ean si Ruz, si ruz Kila kami 4evr, ako kakilala ko si macho.

Si Cha pinakamamahal ni Macho, iniwan ni Cha si macho, si Macho nadikit kay Lian, si Lian na mega comfort naman, si macho umamin ke lian, tinanggap din ni lian kinalaunan, si lian nasaktan ni macho dahil binalikan niya si cha, dumating si "little vernice" (masakit ito para kay lian) sa eksena, kawawa naman si lian .iiwan pa rin ni cha si macho, olats silang pareho.

si bonnie nasaktan ke clyde , si macho sinaktan ni cha.

si cha may bryan na, pero si macho mahal pa din si cha,

si clyde may iba na, pero si bonnie mahal pa din si clyde,

si bonnie at si macho silang dalawa ngayon, pero may mga unsettled business pa silang dalawa sa mga nakaraan nila..

sinong matitira? sinong talo?

"above all cha is the winner, macho is still the loser"

"Clyde is still the champion and Bonnie is still the loser"

She wants to move on, regardless of anything, gusto lang na maayos ang lahat.. as in lahat lahat, it's up to them to decide. will they go or will they stay?

She wants to share everything what's inside her mind and heart, Bonnie wants to know Macho deeper, and she wanted to share her ideas with him. na sa tuwing titingnan siya, dalawa lang ang nakikita niya, si Macho na handang mahalin si Bonnie, at si Macho na kaibigan ko..ganon.

"kapag nagmahal ka, handa mong mahalin ang 3 mundong gagalawan ninyo. ang mundo niya, ang mundo mo, at ang mundo niniyong dalawa"

-Dianna Azores
Writer of Twisted

Difference between poor and rich countries

I have something to share to you guys. I don't know who wrote this but the writer has a point in telling this reality. It is the best time for us to reflect on the status of our country. Read it and ponder it.

Enjoy!



Difference between poor and rich countries

To reflect and... Act:

The difference between the poor countries and the rich ones is not the
age of the country:

This can be shown by countries like India & Egypt , that are more than
2000 years old, but are poor.

On the other hand, Canada , Australia & New Zealand, that 150 years ago
were inexpressive, today are developed countries, and are rich.

The difference between poor & rich countries does not reside in the
available natural resources.

Japan has a limited territory, 80% mountainous, inadequate for
agriculture & cattle raising, but it is the second world economy. The
country is like an immense floating factory, importing raw material from
the whole world and exporting manufactured products.

Another example is Switzerland , which does not plant cocoa but has the
best chocolate of the world. In its little territory they raise animals
and plant the soil during 4 months per year. Not enough, they produce
dairy products of the best quality. It is a small country that transmits
an image of security, order & labor, which made it the world's
strongest, safest place.

Executives from rich countries who communicate with their counterparts
in poor countries show that there is no significant intellectual
difference.

Race or skin color is also not important: immigrants labeled lazy in
their countries of origin are the productive power in rich European
countries.

What is the difference then?

The difference is the attitude of the people, framed along the years by
the education & the culture.

On analyzing the behavior of the people in rich & developed countries,
we find that the great majority follow the following principles in their
lives:

1. Ethics, as a basic principle.
2. Integrity.
3. Responsibility.
4. Respect to the laws & rules.
5. Respect to the rights of other citizens.
6. Work loving.
7. Strive for saving & investment.
8. Will of super action.
9. Punctuality.

In poor countries, only a minority follow these basic principles in
their daily life.

We are not poor because we lack natural resources or because nature was
cruel to us.

We are poor because we lack the correct attitude. We lack the will to
comply with and teach these functional principles of rich & developed
societies.

If you do not forward this message nothing will happen to you. Your pet
will not die, you will not be fired, you will not have bad luck for
seven years, and also you will not get sick, but those may happen
because of your laziness, your love for intrigue and politics, your
indifference to saving for the future, your stubborn attitude.

If you love your country, let this message circulate for a major
quantity of people could reflect about this, & CHANGE, ACT!

Daraitan (1st installment)

Daraitan the place to be

Wahahaha.. This place is rally really cool! Running water rushing in between big rocks, a very serene and tranquil location to relax, wherein you could only hear the sound kuliglig.

It is a very nice place to enjoy the company of each other. You got to learn about each other's lives because you have to keep talking and sharing each others opinion just to keep the night longer.

If you are the time of person that you haven't experience this, YOU LOSE HALF OF YOUR LIFE, why? because, you didn't see the beauty of nature right in front of your very eyes! You got to experience to be with the nature and live with the nature. You bathe in the river, you poof in the talahib, you're embracing with the rocks as you go climbing further. Everything is a challenge. You got to test whether or not you know how to use your street intelligence (diskarte sa buhay) This is the real test whether or not you will survive or not. But in a nutshell, It's fun doing caving in Daraitan.

Enjoy the pictures!

The rushing river. Cold water. Fresh water

HAppy campers Mighty Me

The rocks Nice shot!

Summer, the healing season for me

Summer of 2008...

Every summer I always see to it that I am always on a vacation, let's say summer outing with friends, family or whoever person closest to me who would like to have their summer worthwhile.

Summer is my favorite part of the season because I love the idea of you being relax. I love it especially when you really go out of town just to have fun. Have some quiet time for yourself, to reflect and be with the nature or be with the person you really love the most. It relaxes me especially the blue sea water that rushes to the seashore, it is very traquil and quite amusing, if you would just only listen to what it is saying, you would appreciate it's natural sound.

Four years had passed when the wounds have already healed. I've been to places where in it helped me to heal my wounds of a broken heart. awwwww.... to bad, I am becoming sentimental now. I have to share it with you, my readers, the title of this story is

"Baguio, The Forgetful City"

It was the Summer of 2004, when we went to Baguio for the summer outing.

It was I, his girlfriend and my brother, together with his officemates who went there for the outing. They were very happy because it was their first summer together as a couple, good for them! As for me, it was the saddest days of my life.

Few days before the outing, I have this particular guy friend, his name is Clark (not his real name). We were very close to each other but we're not a couple. Some people would perceive that were a couple, and of course when they began to tease us, it was really nothing, then we began to deny everything. At first it was nothing, for years, months and days it was really nothing but all of a sudden something happened.

Clark has a partner and I had too. We were very comfortable with each other and we know that the idea of being close was just really meant to being as friends. But oneday in our lives, we got confused, as in totally wrecked confused. All of a sudden, I didn't know my stand to his and he didn't know his stand to mine. It was a really uncomfortable feeling.

One time we just didn't start to communicate from each other, as if he's avoiding me or vice versa. It really upset me. I don't know what happen that time, maybe just maybe, (well he never clarify the real story) his girlfriend got jealous of me. And one thing I hated the most is when a girl got jealous of me for NO REASON at all. Because I was not that type of girl who would ruin a relationship. In short, we avoided each other.

The day in Baguio came, I really didn't enjoy it because my mind was preoccupied. I was thinking of him the whole time! Arrrgh! As if I wanted an explanation of our stands in each other's lives, but no answers were given to me. So my comforting location was in Baguio. All the thoughts I had during that time was left in Baguio. I planned to confront him before but it didn't materialize because I don't want to ruin the friendship between the two of us.

The good thing is that were still friends, still close to each other but now we have separate lives. The bad thing is that I never confirmed if we fell in love with each other before. It was an unproclaim love or feelings, which is really bad because somehow in the middle of silence you began to think the WHAT IF's of your life.

That was the story. Summer became my comforting season wherein I have to clear my mind, to relax and to enjoy the nature. Summer of 2004 had helped me to heal my wounded heart.

Summer 2008... teaser

A very nice advertisement in Matabungkay... very genius indeed! Lol

Daraitan, Rizal

Potipot Island, Zambales

Puerto del Sol, Pangasinan

Matabunkay Beach, Batangas

this is all what I have... this is my passion.. to travel.. thanks!

WHY DO I LOVE THE PHILIPPINES?

I love the Philippines because of its wonderful mountain coverage and its nature. I discover how rich the land resources of the Philippines two years ago when I actually witness its scenic beauty and its marvelous breath-taking surroundings. The Philippines’ territory covers only thirty to forty percent of land, and that includes the plains, plateaus, hills, volcanoes and mountains. Among the classifications of land, what I like the most are the mountains.

Two years ago, I went to Cuenca Batangas to fulfill a long lost promise to the one I loved. Yes, 6 years ago, I fell in love with a mountain climber. I went to Cuenca to discover how he (mountaineers) lives and to discover his (their) addiction to mountains but at the end of the day I find myself discovering something else. I went to one of the mountain climber’s favorite mountain… Mount Maculot.

It is the mountaineer’s favorite climbing spot because of its perfect posture as a training ground for newly aspiring mountaineers. It has a very, very assault posture that will test one’s strength, endurance and agility. As the mountaineers and I ascend to the top of Mount Maculot, I can’t wait to the rewards that are waiting for me. Will I ever find the answer that he’s trying to ask me? Or will I ever understand him for the reasons he gave me why our love didn’t last that long?

He was right. It is beyond explanation! The experience of climbing this mountain is priceless. The area is so beautiful that no words can explain it. You get to experience living with the nature; you become “one” when you’re on the top of the mountain. It is having different perspective when you’re there. These are the things that I discover on this journey. I fell in love with the mountains the way I fell in love with him.

So if you’d ask me again, why do I love the Philippines? I can give you two answers. I love the Philippines because of its mountains and the other reason is that resources here in the Philippines are priceless. You get to discover its wonders while discovering your inner most self.

Blogging

"Blogging is an art... it is the same as the film makers, the novelists and painters. You are trying to explore yourself as the master of your own craft"

--Ayan 'D Explorer

Layas na di natitisod

waaaaahhhh... kamusta naman? napaka layas kong bata pero isang beses pa lang ako nakakatisod ng swerteng trabaho sa buhay ko. Haller?! Isang taon na ang nakakalipas nun noh?! Anong buwan na a ngayon? Isang taon na kong graduate, at isang taon na rin ang nakakalipas ng huli akong tumambay nang mayos, ayos. Hekhekhek....

Kailangan ko ng tulong ni Batman, Wonder woman, snoop dog, ni mighty mouse, ni julio at julia, ni Princess Sarah... at kung sino pang mga kakilala kong super hero. hehehe

Anyway... haaay... wala lang.

Nang Makipag-usap si Ayan sa Sarili

dear me,

Waaaaaahhhh.. What am i gonna do? sobrang hirap ng ganitong sitwasyon palagi, lagi na lang akong nadedejavu. Punyeta naman kasi eh, sino ba naman kasi ng-imbento niyan? ehehe... most of the time ayaw ko pa yung mga sitwasyon. haaayy ateh! Anyway, decided na ako na isulat ang aking ayan's diary. babala, sa mga nakakilala sa akin, DON'T YOU DARE NA ILANTAD ANG PANGALAN NG TAONG INVOLVE DUN SA STORY KO... EHEHEH! dahil hinding hindi niyo mahuhulaan! ahahahah...

Ay naku! si ayan ay may makulay na love life... ika nga ni r1, rollercoaster ride ang aking love life, sabi din ni kilabers, sobrang exciting ng aking love life, pero at the end of the day, sa hinaba haba ng altar, sino ba ang andun? eheheh!!! Sila lang yun.. wla pa akong plano para jan. ehehe... sa ngayon, biniyayaan ako ng isang napakabait na hubby.. itago natin siya sa pangalang Poging Daga. wahahahah! peace men! come on koya.

pero yung isusulat ko kasi eh hindi tungkol kay poging daga eh... tungkol sa history ko. naks! come on. Masaya yan promise pag nabasa niyo na, pero need ko muna siya ipa-copy right kasi maghahanap ako ng publisher ko eh. ehehe! ambisyoso!

sige sige.. sa uulitin na lang ulet ha.

tambay lang,
ako

Mga pinapangarap kong maisulat.... at matapos!

* Twisted
* The Gemini
* Batang Palaboy

Waaaahhh! pangarap na lang ba ang pagiging writer ko? i hope not. eheheh..

Trust your Instincts

Today is a very frustrating day for me. Honestly, it's a mixed emotions. waaaaah! i don't know how to explain it.


Sequence 1:

Last night I was thinking of writing my ultimate diary turning it to a fantastic love story. ehehe.. asa ayan! Grabe, pag nabasa mo yung diary na yun, sasabihin mo dun sa lalaki na... ANG TANGA MO! eheheh.. anyways, so moving on, i was about to sleep then, suddenly my ultimate buddy sent me SMS saying na drop by daw ako saglit kasi birthday ng tropa. So I got up and then asked them na sila na lang ang pumunta sa bahay. Ang weird kasi instinct ko na yun eh, feeling ko magkikita kaming mga mgtrotropa, so it happened.

Kakamiss yung kwentuhan at gaguhan ng mga mongoloid na Magdamo group. ahahah!!

Ang Boss at ang Boo-sabus
Ang Swapo
Ang Madating
Ang Bading... etc.

Instinct: Naisip ko na magkikita kaming tropa, at nagkita nga kami.


Sequence 2:

Today, since medyo puyat nga ako, kasi i slept at 11:30pm kagabi eh, feeling ko magiging hyper ako kasi epekto ng puyat. So, ayun, naging hyper nga ako, kung mga kinatatamaran kong gawin kanina eh halos natapos ko naman. weird lang tlga kasi na-de javu ako. ewan ko, sobrang laging nangyayari yan sken, yung panaginip ko eh halos turned into reality tlga siya, as in for real. Labo ba? ehehhe.. senxa na.

So pagdating sa office knina, gawd! the nerve... again, instinct.
itong napakabuti kong officemate eh, wala lang... mahirap ng magsalita. to make the story short...
sabi ko sa sarili ko na never, never trust that person again, kasi number one, that person may betray me in the coming months since that person has a history on turning back on a particular friend.

Instinct: NEVER, NEVER trust ANybody.


Sequence 3:

Couple of weeks ago, I had an interview. At dahil sobrang napaka friendly ng mga tao dun, so equip with all the knowledge and confidence i have, I go on with the interview. Everything is not align according to what it should be,so kiber! i don't care, basta i take my chances, i took that risk. Hoping that at the end of the day, masasabi ko na "i did great!" ... But no!!!!
Pag pasok ko ng interview room: Bogug!

ISANG BAKLA at ISANG INSEKYORA!!

(perfect combination isn't it?!)

Eh, honestly, allergic ako sa mga bakla pagdating sa career competition. Thanks to Momon, ang aking ultimate gay friend, siya lang ang nagtanggal ng aking fear for gays. Anyways, sa insekyora naman, come on! wala na akong magagawa jan.

Having the interview, I know that I did great but on the back of my mind, I am trying to divert my attention kasi I had a bad instinct for that interview.

Instinct: I'll fail this interview, not because I am not capable of doing the job, not even if you base it on credentials, I'll fail because of those two monsters. An insecure gay and an insecure Girl! RARRRR! I hate it... bluntly speaking...


TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS!

"Wanted: Magkano Utak?"

It is a story of a very likable boy who is fresh from the academe. He will teach us the basics of how to mingle with your co-workers specially the basics of how to climb up faster from the corporate ladder and be able to rub elbows with the president of the company.

Sometimes stupidity can kill, it will have a negative effect on a person's mental health and what is frustrating sometimes it is contagious. It can contaminate other's peoples' mind. It will suck up all your energy and you'll be able to scream......

"WANTED: Magkano Utak?"



http://images.google.com.ph/imgres

i have confirmed through my own research that being a suck up to your boss can have a negative effect
to a person's mental health. If they want a live example, please visit onetouch.. - kurama
they would be able to prove your claim

in a corporate security world: Warning! Bawal ang BOBO!

In a job search for a marketing post:
QUALIFICATIONS:

* Graduate of any four years course in a reputable tapunan ng mga kick-outs ng mayayamang bobo.
* Have some writing experience. (Please refer the write-ups below)
* Have the ability to balance multiple responsibilities (essential). In laymans term, utusero
* Be multi-task oriented with strong organizational skills. in short, hindi marunong magtago ng gamit.
* Be a creative thinker. (ahaha! what a punch line! I'm an artist!)
* Be a self-starter and sociable. ( ahaha! we'll see that)
* Good Interpersonal Skills (Napagkakaisahan)
* Have excellent verbal communication skills (essential). In short maangas na walang ipagaaangas.

Day 1.
The Big Show

Our character is applying for the vacant position. He (as in singled out na "he") went to the location to have
an interview with the Manager. He is a fresh grad from the tapunan ng mga kick-outs ng mayayamang bobo, What an advantage!!
Here comes the dreaded interview:

Manager: " Tell me something about yourself"
Suezo: " Basically Sir, my advantage is that I know how to do adobo photoshop, I work hard, and i have an excellent verbal communication sir.
and last but not the least, I am an artist"

Manager: "hmmm well... Why should we hire you then?"
Suezo: " You should hire me sir because I am an artist, graphic artist.

Manager: " Can you show me some of your stuffs?"
Suezo: " So far sir, it is still underconstruction, I store it all here, in my brain."

Manager:" Great! Come here on Monday for contract signing"
Suezo:" Talaga po sir? ui, salamat naman po!"


And the great character Suezo got the vacancy!

Day 2.
The Post

The big day came to our lovable character. The signing of contract. Again a conversation with the Manager is the highlight of his career.

Manager: " It's nice to see you Suezo here in our office. Welcome aboard!"
Suezo: flattering and uber confident. "Aha Sir, thank you very much po for trusting my skills, ai naku ser! di po kayo mapapahiya sakin!"
Manager: " Talaga?!, he chuckled. "I'll introduce you to the team"...

One by one the Manager is getting the attention of his 7 (seven) employees. Correct me if I'm mistaken. (nyahaha!)


Manager: " Guys, this is Suezo, our new marketing assistant..."
Suezo: "Hey, hey!"


Manager: " This is Kabuto, my assistant"
Kabuto: smile na lang tayo.


Manager: "this is Mr. Xmen, our Admin/HRD/Purchasing/Accountant/Collection runner/Payroll/... anything you can think of position, that's him.
Xmen: (In the Back of his mind... WHAAAT AN A--hole!) "cge cge!"


Manager: That's Kurama, one of our development team.
Kurama: NO Comment. NR. Nada. Na-ah.


Manager:"That's Yamamoto, also from dev."
Yamamoto: "pawe! muztah?"


Manager: "That's Cha-cha, also from the dev."
Chacha: smile... Ting! showing her pearly white teeth.


Manager:That's Jackson, our tech guy"
Jackson: "oi!"


Manager: And that's Kerry, you'll be under her.
Suezo: Ayuz to ser! San po ba magiging pwesto ko??
Kerry: With matching taas ng kilay, "Ah, ikaw! Okay"


Manager: and this will be your computer and this will be your table from now on... Touching the customed maid long office table.
Suezo: Uber delighted and uber confident. Ser salamat po! Naku guys, hinding hindi kayo magsisisi.
Guys: completely silent. (hehehe)


The Manager and our uber delighted character went to the conference room to discuss their contract.

Manager: " Okay, Suezo, i guess this is it! you'll be part of the family, if you answer my question.
Suezo: "ser ano po yun, tanong lang po kayo, kayang kaya kong sagutin yan."


Manager: "talaga?!..... How much salary do you expect?
Suezo: "ser, dali naman po ng tanong niyo... Sir 17K po"


Manager: Thinking. "and why is that so?
Suezo: Kasi po number one, i graduated from the reputable school of tapunan ng mga mayayamang bobo (College of No Brainer, CNB) and two, ser naman, di kayo mapapahiya sa akin, I'm an artist ser, artist!


Manager: "Great!!!" i'm glad to hear that from you.
signing the agreement of 17 grand caching, Suezo is now part of the family... called The Boat is Sinking Group of companies.

Over drive..

Sarap magdrive ngayon. Masarap gumala at magliwaliw sa kawalan. Ilang buwan din ang lumipas na halos sugatan. Mapait. Mapagdamot ang bawat pagkakataon. Inakala mong totoo ang lahat sa iyo. Iyon ang iyong buong akala. Kinawawa ang pusong walang kalaban-laban.Tumakas sa mga aksidente sa kalsada. Naging mapag-ubaya ka ngunit naglaho ang lahat. Sila yung mga taong itinuring mong sa iyo,itinuring mong iyong-iyo. Di mo sinasadyang masaktan ka ng iba. Masakit, ngunit wala kang magawa kundi tanggapin ang bawat pagkakataon. Huli na ang lahat. Ninanais mong habulin ang bawat pagkakataon. Hinabol mo nang matulin, pinatakbo ng mabilis ang karborador. Inapakan ang silinyador. Ngunit, hindi pa din sapat ang buong lakas na iyong inialay. Huli na, Hindi mo na maabutan ang daanan na dating ninyong tinahak. Nasaktan ka na at lumuha. Wala na sila. Wala na silang lahat. Nag-iisa ka na lamang nagmamaneho ng sasakyang dati'y marami kayo, hanggang sa naging dalawa hanggang sa naging wala na. ...

Masarap mag-drive, kahit saan mo nais na makarating, posible ito. Kailangan lamang na full tank ang iyong sasakyan. Upang hindi tumirik sa iyong dinadaanan.Minsan nagtataka ako sa sarili ko, nawalan ba ko ng gasolina kaya ako iniwan? o nawalan ako ng preno kaya nakasagasa ako? alin ba? Hindi ko alam. Ang alam ko lamang ngayon ay ako ay nag-iisa sa aking sasakyan. . . Malungkot ngunit kailangan kong tanggapin, hindi sa lahat ng oras, masarap magmaneho mag-isa...

wala na kayo.

wala na siya.

wala ka na.

Ako na lamang at ang malupit na kalsada.

P.S Blog ko to dati pa, post ko lang, kasi sa tingin ko maganda pa rin siyang article. ehehe

Ang Pinoy nga Naman...

nice pic huh???

Yan ang pinoy. kay tigas tigas ng ulo... sinabi na ngang bawal ang tao, abay tong si Kuya, wlang pakialam, deadma kung baga.

Funny it may seem but it is our reflection in the society. How are we being Filipinos?
a. Matigas ang ulo
b. Walang disiplina
c. Hindi marunong umintindi

I just hope and pray na sana hindi na ganito ang mangyari sa susunod. I mean, come on, how can we progress if we lack discipline among ourselves. Think about it.

Isa palang ito sa mga kuha ko sa aking pagiging palaboy. Alam niyo na masarap gumala. Hehehe...

Ayan is going no where...

THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED
by: Robert Frost
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Oh my God! I am torn... what am I gonna do? I don't know what to choose between the two. haay... my personal wants or my family. Come on!

I NEED HELP!

WELCOME TO REALITY AYAN

Did it ever occur to your mind that Pretending to LIKE someone (especially your damn boss) is not EASY?!

Nak ng kamote naman oh! haaay...

Ang hirap kasi ng ganito eh... grrrr!!!! (Imagined how pissed I am right now) at katabi ko pa siya sa work station.. come on!

=====================

Last Sunday, I watched Living Asia Channel featuring Philippines... I am so damn proud of my country when it comes to natural resources. Imagine, we are on the 4th slot for the most endemic species in Asia. Endemic species means that the species found here in the Philippines are quite rare... Hmmm.. sounds interesting! Moving on...

I was blown when the video showcases the abundance of our natural resources. Damn it was beautiful! Very scenic I might say.

The video started from a narration of our beautiful resources: Flora species, insect species, Kingdom animalia species, etc.
(Photo was taken from Oriental Mindoro source: Lakbaypilipinas.com)

It was actually breath taking experience, eventhough I never had a chance to go to the places here in the Philippines. I was struck because I am becoming a foreigner to my own country. Too bad.

Another realization that hit me is that HOW STUPID ARE WE, FILIPINOS OF NOT REALIZING HOW ABUNDANT OUR NATURE IS? I mean, come on, wala pa rin tayong disiplina sa sarili na magtapon ng basura... haay... nasisira si Mother Nature. (okay ayaw ko maglitanya ng mga ganyang salita, sorry..)

I want to acknowledge the production team of Living Asia for doing a marvelous production. Very sensible and affecting. (applause!!!!)

I came to a point that I told myself that THIS IS WHAT I WANT TO DO for the rest of my life.
TO TRAVEL. TO PRODUCE DOCUMENTARIES. AND TO AFFECT PEOPLE'S LIVES.

shetness! sana lang tlga...


source: mindorenyo.com

FIRST ENTRY (Trip back to memory lane)

AFTER THREE YEARS

THREE YEARS AGO

Wow!!! Finally, my first entry to my blog. Hmmm... I am having random thoughts right now, I don't know where to start... *taking a deep breath*

Okay, I got it now, to start my story, I have to review my life 3-4 years ago. Where was I three years ago??? Heck! take a trip back to memory lane...


click me:::: http://chamois.blogs.friendster.com/ayan_is_the_name/



Flashback:
During those years, I was in deep pain, troubled and confused. Thank heavens, I recovered from that experience. Don't get me wrong, it was a bad experience but heck! How will you know your mistakes if you're not doing it the wrong way right?

2007 was a pick-up year for me, in my case I call it as a recovery year. From 2003-2006 everything was a mess! That includes my family, my so called friends, my love life (that time, My Men is not in the picture yet), studies... everything! every aspect was disastrous! But thank heavens, I am blessed with a strong personality that it doesn't show in my outer persona.

Moving on, 2007 was a year of healing, learning and forgiving... Internally speaking, I RECOVERED! so now that it's 2008... I hope and I pray that the healing process will continue, so that at the end of the day I can say to myself that... I AM GREAT!

I am looking for another year of fun, exciting and a lot thrilling experience from this year. That means, more gala, more pasaway, more kulet, more thinking, more learning experiences!

This is not my last entry, don't get me wrong, I am just reviewing myself... P.S: yung blog ko dati sa friendster, I apologized for the grammar, bangenge kasi ako nung mga oras at panahon na yan. hehehe!